Something that I'm quite happy about is the fact that I've been out living life instead of blogging about it. I probably said that last post. I'm too lazy to go check. But it's becoming increasingly true. Tonight, however, I have a million thoughts racing around in my head and I thought it might help to get some of them on paper (well, digital paper anyway).
The last few months for me have been a season of settling. (Nobody freak out! I don't mean settling FOR anything, I mean settling INTO things. So...the GOOD kind of settling.) I've settled into my apartment, into my job, and into my community. The Burrow is decorated and feels more and more like home every day. I don't have the most glamorous job, and I certainly don't plan on doing it forever, but I can say with confidence that I genuinely like the people I work with. I know not many people can say that so for this I am grateful. And my community- well I have the greatest friends a girl could ask for. I miss my friends back home and afar every day. But I've found a place here where I fit, and people who love me and I love right back. The Lord has been clearly faithful to me in so many areas, but none more than this.
I took a trip to Asheville, NC a few weekends ago with some lovely ladies. It was my first time in NC (despite the fact that my daddy grew up there, I spent my whole life hearing about it, and I was raised in a home where you root for the Tarheels, gosh darn it!) It was lovely. The trees were changing, the weather was flawless, and I couldn't have asked for better company. We went apple picking and hit up the JCrew factory warehouse sale (talk about chaos!) As some random and often quoted person once said, "I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order."
I don't have any sort of clever segue into the next section, so I'm just gonna dive right in...
Things I've learned recently:
1) The world is smaller than you think, so a) you never know who you may meet or run into and b) you have to be careful what you say, to whom you say it, and where it is said. I've heard a lot of interesting things through the grapevine since moving here.
2) Sometimes big risks bring big rewards. (Yes, I'm aware this is a basic finance concept but it's true in everyday life as well.) Even if the bigger picture/story doesn't turn out the way you hope or expect, sometimes simply having the story itself to tell is worth the risk. After all, life is, in many ways, one big adventure made up of thousands of little stories. You may as well make them worth telling.
3) Perfect moments are untaintable. I'm aware this is not a word, but I like it so I'm using it. I'm figuring out that even if a story, relationship, dream, whatever- doesn't end well or turn out how you wanted it to, that doesn't negate the beautiful moments. Sometimes you have a perfect silver-screen moment and that moment- that memory- will last forever. I guess what I'm getting at is an imperfect ending doesn't make a perfect beginning or middle imperfect. Those moments stand on their own. And nothing and no one can take that away from you. I probably didn't explain that well. Whatever...it's a thing that I've learned.
4) Risks and adventures are amazing fuel for the songwriting fire. (This one speaks for itself.)
5) I will never write happy songs as well as I write sad songs. (Ever. Never ever.) And I am ok with that.
6) Nashville is breathtakingly beautiful in the fall (slash always.)
7) Life is complicated (this I already knew) and becomes increasingly more complicated as you get older (this is a new discovery for me.) I guess I sort of expected things to get simpler after a certain point and start falling into place. The opposite appears to be true. The lines keep getting more and more tangled. The difference is that the older you get the better you become at twisting and turning your way through this tangled life.
8) Speaking of twisting and turning- a good dance party is one of the best cures from stress, boredom, anger, or the blues.
So these are some of the thoughts doing a full-on triathlon in my brain at the moment. My mind is also filled with oodles of quotes (what can I say, I know a lot of quotes. I like me some quotes. It's kind of my thing. Sorry I'm not sorry.) that sort of, but not fully, express where I find myself at the moment. For example:
"So, this is my life and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." -Perks of Being a Wallflower
"It feels good to be lost in the right direction." -Something I saw in Pinterest
"When nothing is certain, anything is possible." -Something else I saw on Pinterest (I really like Pinterest, okay?)
And, more than anything else...
(-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars)
And, for the moment, that's alright with me. The stars are still beautiful even if you take the shapes away. It doesn't always have to make sense or form a perfect picture. They just shine. And that is enough.
